On to the next episode of my Amsterdam travels – don’t worry it isn’t going to trail on to part number 1294 before I’m done, I’ll get a move on to the rest of the cities very soon; it’s just that I tend to prattle nonstop about Amsy because it’s just so pretty! And serene! And disarming! And……there I go again.
The science centre, aka the tilting vomit-green ship, was my next destination in Amsy. To my horror, it can only be an adult’s nightmare, a place that one should not venture to try unless you come prepared with cannabis lollies and earplugs. Why? A truckload of kids were there, jostling each other around, squalling and shrieking in a mammoth of headache-inducing cacophony, banging things around, running, jumping and poking, and again, letting loose their shrill screams at every shiny machine. Sigh. Other than that, it was quite interesting; with machines that capture your shadow on a wall after you move away, 3D movies in incomprehensible Dutch, museum corners that showcase skeleton bones and fetuses, and little science contraptions that you can fiddle with.
But really, the best part of it is, (which Mr. horsey exuberantly extols as what makes the whole visit worthwhile) the sex section. In this section, there are charts that teach on what not to do in a French kiss, booths which describe in detail the different hot spots of both males and females when you press a knob placed conspicuously on that precise part, the various facial expressions of orgasms (very hot indeed) and the effects of sex on the body, as well as variant sexual positions in the Kama Sutra, demonstrated very graphically by wooden art figures. Ooooh fascinating.
Certain areas in that exhibition had an age limit of 12 years, but others were just there, unabashedly displayed in your face. There was this box that we fooled around with, where you can look through the glass box, have two people stick their arms at opposite ends into two red socks shaped like tongues and mimic the action of French kissing. Yes kids can do that over there. How cool is that, for something like this positioned smack in the middle of a place where kids rule the territory with their deafening roars and enthusiastic flailing of arms. It would be close to a miracle if that ever happened in Singapore.
Next we went to this other museum which was a remodel of a colonial Dutch ship. Very very fun! We got to climb into their double-decker beds, sleep in their hammocks and fool around with their crates of food, cannons, and sacks of rice. It was like being a pirate, except…well except I’m in a dress.
Then the ultimate surprise, the jaw dropper of the trip – Avril Lavigne concert tickets! And when I say surprised, I mean we queued right up to the door with me having no clue until tickets were triumphantly whipped out of the pocket. Good cover story, saying that we needed to queue to tour the hall and that we can ask the door man for permission, for which I continuously insisted that it wouldn’t work with a concert going on and that we should leave. Mmm this is one time where I am glad I was wrong. It was awfully cool; getting to drink a huge plastic cup of beer while jumping crazily at a concert. Avril was really pretty, and my feet really really hurt after that.
